Hell's Kitchen

Ever wonder about the stories behind some of America’s favorite junk foods? Maybe you shouldn’t, given how scary some of them can be. Here’s a selection of food-related entries from The Encyclopedia of Guilty Pleasures. You may never look at deviled ham the same way again.

Bac-Os: The idea of putting a pork product into a sprinkle can sounds like the ultimate guilty pleasure. Alas, it isn’t. There’s no bacon in Bac-Os. This General Mills staple is made of flavored soy. Vegetarians love it. It’s even kosher. Somehow, we feel betrayed.

Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill: The motto of this, the official high school party beverage of the ’70s, should have been, “Fly now, pay later.” Strawberry Hill, not unlike its bastard redneck cousin, Country Kwencher, was sweeter than a stack of Hannah Montana DVDs and cheap as a six-pack of domestic beer. But inexperienced drinkers (and almost anyone who touched this stuff was inexperienced, because grownups had the cash and smarts to get something better) often found themselves weathering morning-after headaches and retching bouts that they would remember for the rest of their lives. And it’s no wonder. These “wines” came from the darkest, most low-rent corner of the vineyards of Ernest and Julio Gallo, the same folks who proudly market such illustrious brands as Ripple and Thunderbird.

Chef Boyardee: The real Chef Hector Boiardi was born in Italy in 1898 and made a name for himself at the Ritz-Carlton and other restaurants in New York City and beyond. He even catered President Woodrow Wilson’s wedding. Now his Americanized name is synonymous with canned pasta that carries upward of 1,190 mg of sodium per serving. It’s had to imagine a more textbook example of entropy. Still, his ravioli is pretty good with a side of white bread and butter.

Cool Whip: Introduced in 1966 as the first nondairy whipped topping, Cool Whip hit its stride during the 1970s when Mrs. Sarah Tucker, a fictional commercial character, started using it in fancy desserts at her quaint country inn. “If Mrs. Tucker can serve it to her guests,” a willing nation said, “why can’t I plop it on my Jell-O?” Although Sarah Tucker hasn’t been heard from in years, her real-life counterpart, actress Marge Redmond, best known as one of the earthbound sisters on The Flying Nun, still gets an occasional movie gig. More important for food lovers, Cool Whip continues to expand its line (one recent addition is French Vanilla) offering even more options for potluck dinner invitees who draw the “dessert” card.

Peeps: Even though these chick-shaped marshmallow treats are possibly the most inconsequential thing one could receive in an Easter basket, they’ve been a holiday staple since their invention in 1953. These days their maker, Just Born, Inc., turns them out year round in a variety of shapes, including bats for Halloween and hearts for Valentine’s Day. The company’s Bethlehem, Pennsylvania plant pops out Peeps at the rate of 3,800 per minute, or 1 billion each year. Which means there must be a huge demand for a confection that tastes like a sugar-coated packing peanut. True connoisseurs freeze them before eating.

Ramen Noodles: Since the 1980s American college students have subsisted on ramen, a Chinese-style wheat noodle that’s as popular in Japan (indeed, perhaps more so) as in America. The big difference is that while the Japanese enjoy freshly prepared noodles served in restaurants, Americans eat them in deep-fried blocks whose chief advantages are speed of preparation (drop them in boiling water and you’re dining in three minutes), flavor (anything containing approximately 8 grams of fat per serving and 900 milligrams of salt can’t taste bad), and low, low price (costing as little as 10 cents per plastic-wrapped portion, ramen noodles can keep a student alive for a week on change scrounged from the dorm lobby’s couch). Living on a diet of these during college is like drinking yourself blind every weekend: It’s a rite of passage.